Project Wired
by skrsmile
Summary: How will everyone react to finding a fanfiction site?
1. Project Wired

A/N At the moment this is a one-shot. However, I could continue. But I won't unless I get reviews. So if you want me to continue then please tell me!

Hermione sat down at the computer with expectation. She had been working on setting it up for some time. First she had had to get all the paper work and permissions. Then she had to find the right computer for her purposes. And finally she had to set it up. Normally this wouldn't be a problem; she had set the computer at home up for her parents last summer. But there were several special adapters to be added so that the computer could run off the magic in Hogwarts and it didn't help that everyone kept bugging her.

The adapters had been of her own invention. When she had asked her muggle studies teacher about setting up a computer in all the common rooms the first thing he had asked was how it would be powered. Hermione had been prepared with sketches of the adapters, how they worked, and why.

Project Wired, as it was commonly referred to as, became Hermione's, Terry Boot's, Blaise Zambini's, and Angelica Thayer's final project. Hermione would have just assumed do it alone, but she needed someone from each of the houses to set the computers up. They had shared every aspect of the project except for these adapters. They were Hermione's, and she was thinking of sending them in to be patented with the Ministry.

The idea had actually come from the famous Creevy camera. She just didn't know how Colin got it to work. When she questioned him on it she found that he didn't use batteries, it just ran on it's own when he was in the castle. This gave Hermione a hunch on how magic worked. She hadn't shown anybody else her complete theory on the subject. Once she got everything together she was going to go to Dumbledore with it; she figured that he was the most competent in magical theory in the castle. But for the moment she was happy to just have her adapters work.

Yesterday her professor had shown everyone how to set up a computer as an end to their section on it. When he was done Hermione had shown her partners how to add the adapters. She had been planning on testing them yesterday, but the bell had wrung before she had a chance. She and her partners had agreed to meet in the great hall at 5:00 pm, enough time for even Nevil to set up a computer, not that she planned to let him try it. Part of their project was to find a way to get enough muggle money to purchase the four desk top computers: almost $2,500. It had been a strain to get even that much, she didn't want to risk Nevil blowing one of them up.

It was 11:30, just enough time before lunch to see if it worked. She pressed the Power button and was thrilled at the familiar sounds of a computer turning on. She went strait to the internet; she would check on the other programs later. The internet connection was actually based at the Leaky Cauldron with a magical transmitter that went to all four computers. This one had been her professor's idea and invention, he would also be paying the bill, Hermione thought thankfully. He had thought it would be an excellent resource for the Muggle Studies students.

Hermione went to www.jkrowling .com. JK Rowling was actually a wizard that Hermione had met in Hogsmead. She was looking for a job in writing and Hermione had an idea. With Harry's permission she had fed the story to her and Harry Potter became famous in both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds. Some had found it amuseing, others were outright outraged. She herself had had quite a time explaining things to _her_ parents when they discovered them. Hermione had not been telling them about how many dangerous situations she had been in. She told them that the situations had been exaggerated so that the books would sell better.

From JK Rowling's site she went to the fan site section. Since she hadn't been on since Christmas, she wasn't surprised to find that another one had been added. She clicked on it, having no idea what she was in for. She found herself in the fan fiction section of the site. _ What in the world is fan fiction?_, she thought. She clicked on one to find out.

She clicked the wrong one. It happened to be a VERY graphic harry/draco fic. She scanned through it and actually screamed when she realized what it was. Ron and Harry, who she had earlier sent to the other end of the common room.

"Is the cumpater attacking you?" Ron called over.

"_Computer_," she corrected him. "And no it did not attack me. I was just shocked."

"What do you have on there?" Harry asked.

Hermione quickly exited out of the page. "Oh, nothing," she replied innocently.

"Nothing shocked you huh?" Ron said, noticing the blank screen. "Mind showing us what you were _really_ looking at? Or is it something private?" His voice was teasing, but Hermione wasn't in the mood.

"It's really nothing," she said. "I'm going to Lunch," she said while getting up to prove her point.

Little did Hermione know that Harry was actually pretty good with computers. Dudley had gotten a virus that summer and Harry had fixed it when no one was looking. He had sneaked it into his room and said that he had taken to the dump. He sat down at the computer and started to work.

"What are you doing?" Ron asked. "I didn't know you knew how to use one of those."

"I picked it up over the summer," Harry informed him. "I'm pulling up whatever Hermione was looking at when she screamed."

When the page came up, it took them a while to realize who it was talking about. Ron just stood slack jawed while Harry shouted, "What IS this?" He continued to follow Hermione's tracks until he figured it out. The next story they visited wasn't quite as graphic, but very disturbing all the same.

"EW!" they cried as one at the Snape/Hermione fic.

"Who _are_ these people?" Ron wondered aloud.

"They're muggles," Harry replied, "who like Harry Potter books."

"I _knew_ we shouldn't have agreed to that nonsense," Ron added. "These muggles are crazy! They're crazier than my Dad! This is worse than Lockhart! And it's just _wrong_."

"I agree, but we can't exactly do anything about it. I don't think that the _fans_ would take to kindly to a sudden stop in the series."

"But _this_," he gestured wildly at the computer. "Something has to be done."

"Go talk to Hermione about it, it was her idea."

"Well maybe I will," he said and walked out of the room.

"Hmm, I wonder," Harry said when he noticed the character lists at the top of the screen. He experimented with different name combinations and found every pairing imaginable. He also found some that weren't romance and he almost wished that life was as easy as these people made it out to be. He found chat rooms where people were discussing how he would react to certain situations and who should do this or that. He also noticed that Seamus was gay in almost every one. "These people don't miss much," he noted.

He was almost getting bored when Hermione and Ron stormed back in. He got up and said, "It's really not that bad, I just don't understand why people would want to do all that."

"Harry, you're a hero in the muggle world," Hermione said.

"You're a hero in the wizard world," Ron muttered and got a kick in the leg for his trouble from Hermione.

"Anyway, I would get out of that site and not mention it to anyone; some people might not like it. Especially the slytherins, not leaving out Snape," Harry told her and went to the dormitory.

Hermione turned to take his advice only to fin that she was too late. Seamus was at the computer surrounded by most of gryfindor house. "Why am I gay in all of these?" Seamus demanded.

"You _are_ gay though," someone in the crowd reminded him.

"But that's not in the books!" he protested.

Hermione sighed and went to control the damage.


	2. Planing

A/N I, for one, am very disappointed in myself. This chapter isn't very funny at all. But I promise you, the next chapter will be absolutely hilarious. At least I hope so. With the scenerio I set up in this chapter I don't see how I can go wrong though. Thank-you SO much to all my reviewers. I love you.

Hermione sat at one of the house tables with her project partners. Luckily, no one had had any trouble hooking up the computer or the adapter. Even Hermione wasn't sure what they would have done had one computer acted up. "So, has anyone actually been _on_ the computers?" she asked the group.

"No one will touch the thing," Blaise responded.

"A couple of muggle borns got on to check their email," Angelica commented.

"Yeah, same here, except for a few others who checked it out," Terry said.

"Good, that's pretty much what I expected to happen. However, something happened at Grifyndor house. Everyone was on it, because of a site that I accidently stumbled onto. I think this site can at least get people on the computer. And maybe once their on they might start exploring," Hermione paused to see how this went over.

"I'm sorry Hermione, I mean, you're good, but you're not _that_ good. I don't think that anything could get Draco Malfoy on that computer, and unless he's on it, the other slytherins won't be either," Blaise said regretfully.

"But that's the beauty of it! Malfoy won't be able to resist this!"

"Spill," Angelica commanded.

"Okay, but you have to agree to do this my way. To begin with, we have to bait Malfoy in order for this to work. But more importantly, Harry would _kill_ me if he found out that I was the one who leaked this site. Is everyone in?" everyone nodded. "Okay, you all know about the Harry Potter books, right? Well I found something called fan fiction. Fans of the series write about us.

They write all kinds of stories: funny stories, scary stories, adventure, but the most popular is Romance. You have no idea the pairings on the web. Everyone here except for Angelica has been put with people you would never dream of being with."

At this point Angelica interrupted, "Why aren't I on this site?"

"Because you're not in the books, they don't know that you exist," that was Terry.

"What did Blaise do to get in them?" she inquired.

"He didn't, he's only mentioned by name during our sorting," Hermione said absently. "But that doesn't matter, what matters is that there is a very active group that believe Harry and Draco belong together," she paused again to see their reaction.

Blaise burst out in laughter so great that he started to cry, "This is great!"

Angelica gaped then shrugged, "Figures."

Terry grinned, "Does Harry know?"

"Yes, I tried to hide it but it turns out that he's a computer wizard. He's actually taking it very well."

"This," Blaise tapped the table, "This we can use. All we have to do is set the bait right, and he'll be ours."

"Exactly," Hermione sat back, very pleased with herself.

"But how do we do it right?" Terry asked.

"We need to make it so that he'll look worse if he _doesn't_ look into it. The word about the site will be spread by 10:00 by the gryfindors with out our help. What we have to do is emphasize the Harry/Draco ones. We should meet here at, oh, 7:00 tomorrow. Blaise, keep an eye on that computer, use magic, use spies, I don't care. I want to know who gets on that computer and if they check out the fan fiction sites. If Draco hasn't gotten on by our meeting then we'll do something more drastic. Now, I don't know about you, but I want this computer thing to work. And I think that this might work. Are we in agreement?" The others nodded, "Then until tomorrow."

The meeting broke and they went their separate ways, each reviewing the following day's task. _I hope Harry dosn't get too upset about this, _she thought as she climbed the stairs.


	3. The Empty Table

A/N I'm starting to think that I should have just left this as a oneshot. Don't get me wrong- this is really fun to write. But I'm just not sure if these last couple of chapters are any good. Please tell me what you think.

Hermione woke up early the next morning. She knew that once everyone else was up the computer would be occupied for the rest of the day, and she still had to make sure that all the programs worked. Luckily, no one else had had the idea to get up early, so the computer was open. She yawned as the computer booted up. Sleep had not come easily last night.

She knew that word of the fan fiction would spread anyway, but she felt guilty for helping. She felt even guiltier because she was going to purposely bring it to the attention of the Slytherins, who Harry had mentioned would not like the fan fiction.

The computer was ready. She glanced at the internet icon longingly, then clicked on the word processor. _This might come in handy,_ she thought. She typed **ABC** in big letters then pressed print. The printer was painfully loud in the empty common room. _I didn't know this place could ever feel empty._ She picked up the paper out of the printer and inspected the letters. She proceeded to check on Excel and Powerpoint. Next she installed the encyclopedia.

Her belly growled. She had been so used to the silence that the sound startled her. She laughed, _What did I expect, it's been an hour. I guess I'm done, I wonder if there's any breakfast out yet?_ She got up and went to breakfast.

She was the first to breakfast, but she wasn't alone for long. At least, the other houses started to arrive. By 8:30, the other house tables were 3 quarters full and she was still the only Gryfindor. She was starting to feel _really_ stupid. "Did I miss something?" she wondered aloud. The Slytherins in particular were enjoying her predicament.

Finally, at 9:00, when even the laziest would be present, the laziest did show up. Harry and Ron walked over. When they got to the table Hermione asked, "Where _is_ everyone? I've been sitting here, _alone,_ forever!"

"Well maybe you should have gotten up," Ron suggested.

Hermione glared at him, then raised her eyes at Harry.

"We got up this morning and everyone was on the computer," he answered her question.

"Fan fiction?" she inquired.

"What else?" was the reply.

"Did they look like they were ever going to get off?"

"They do have to eat, don't they?" Harry answered.

"I've a mind that Seamus at least could live off the fan fiction," Ron commented.

That made Hermione giggle, "No doubt... Well, if they don't get down here soon, breakfast will be over. I'd better go remind them, I'll be back."

"Okay," Harry said. Ron was distracted by the food on his plate.

Seamus was reading aloud to a captivated crowd when she arrived, "...'Dean, I love you,' she said before kissing him tenderly. 'I love you too, Cho,' he replied and kissed her back..." No one noticed her, so she listened for a bit. The girls were sighing at the romance of it all. A couple of boys were poking Seamus in the back, presumably so that he would get to the good part. Dean was sitting in the corner blushing profusely.

"Do we really have to read _this_ story?" he wanted to know.

"But it's so romantic," Lavender said wistfully.

"And it's _hot_," someone else replied. Many others nodded fervently.

Seamus glared at them all and kept reading. Everyone but Dean turned to keep listening. "Aren't _any_ of you hungry?" Hermione asked the crowd. Everyone looked at her, Seamus stopped reading. "You know... breakfast," she said in an obvious tone.

"What time is it?" one of the third years asked.

Hermione glanced at her watch, "9:08, breakfast ends at 9:30 so if you want to eat then I suggest you go now."

Dean ceased the opportunity, "Well, I'm going. Who's coming with me?" As he walked to the door just about everyone got up to follow him. Finally it was just Seamus and the Creevy brothers.

"No breakfast for you three?" Hermione asked them.

"Who needs breakfast when there's fan fiction?" Collin asked her back. "Hey Dennis, do you want to write one?"

"Sure! What should we write about?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and caught up with the other Gryfindors.

They had forgotten to be embarrassed about almost missing breakfast and were busy discussing the various stories they had been reading. "What _have_ you guys been reading?" she asked Dean. She figured that Dean was the most likely to give her a strait answer, considering who they had just read about.

"Well, when I woke up it was something with Ginny and Harry, but then Ginny came in," he winced at the memory. "She wasn't happy, let's just leave it at that." Hermione had a feeling that he was greatly understating. True, Ginny didn't like Harry anymore, but that didn't mean that she would take kindly to someone saying that she did.

"I imagine," she said aloud.

"And then, um, well then..." his voice trailed off.

"And then..." she prompted.

"Then it was you and Pansy Parkinson," he said in a rush.

Hermione fought to keep herself under control, she hadn't encountered any with her being lesbian. "Oh," she couldn't control the blush, "I see, and then?"

"Then the one that they were reading when you came in," now it was his turn to blush. "I can't believe I didn't think to just go to breakfast."

They reached the Great Hall. As the Gryfindors entered the other houses stood and applauded. "Hermione, you're a hero! How did you break them from the computer?" Ron shouted from the far end of the room.

She laughed, "They just needed to be reminded. They're bellies did the rest."

Once everyone was seated and had filled they're plates, they had a visitor. Draco Malfoy sauntered over from the Slytherin table with Crabbe and Goyle in tow. "May I inquire as to why the entire Gryfindor house not only showed up at the same time, but showed up at a quarter after nine? Could they be hiding something? Most likely it's something against the rules," he grinned. "I'm sure that the headmaster would like to know if his favorite house was acting against the rules."

Someone giggled, then a girl whispered quite audibly, "Who should tell him?"

"Tell me what?" he sounded a bit vexed. "What's going on here?"

"It's on the _computer_," a first year said. Hermione heard Harry groan beside her.

Apparently Draco heard him too, because he suddenly looked their way and grinned evilly. "Well, out with it. It has to do with Potter, I can tell."

Parvati could hold the secret no longer. She jumped up and started whispering in his ear. Hermione watched as his grin grew wider. Making fun of Harry's celebrity was a favorite of his. Then, his grin turned to horror. Ron, who had been watching, started to crack up. Apparently Parvati had gotten to the stories about him. She finished with an excited look on his face and sat down, very pleased with herself.

Draco was white faced as he turned to Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Ron was still laughing, which Hermione fixed with a kick. "Oh, um, sorry," he said as he gained his composure. "What did I miss?"

"You _will_ pay for this, Potter. I don't care if you ruin your own reputation, but leave mine alone," he stormed right out of the Great Hall with Crabbe and Goyle. Gryfindor table was soon joined by the gossips of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. The excited gryfindors were more than happy to spread the reason for Malfoy's quick departure.

Hermione was impressed by the school's gossip power. As soon as the visitors had the story, they rushed back to their own tables to tell everyone else. "You'd think that nothing exciting ever happens here," Harry said.

"This just goes to show how utterly normal this year was," Ron said between bites. "We haven't done anything heroic, so they have to settle with this as the end of year story," he said matter-of-factly.

Hermione laughed, "I guess that we really are this schools source of entertainment."

"This school and the rest of the world," Harry said dryly. His friends laughed at him and finished their breakfasts.


	4. Preparations

A/N I keep forgetting to apologize for my mistakes, so here it is. In the first chapter I put that they used dollars instead of pounds. I'm sorry, I'm American if you didn't figure that out. I was distracted by things like the adapter and the joke about Nevill that I didn't think about it. Speaking of Nevill, I'm sorry that I misspelled his name, I might have done it again just now. I am the worst speller in the world, so live with it or stop reading, it's not going to get any better. As for my lack of confidence in my writing, which a few of you have addressed, my friend says that I brag about my writing so it can't be that bad. (I only get excited about all my reviewers, I love you guys! And the lack of confidence thing was mostly on hpff, for my fanfiction readers who are wondering what in the world I'm talking about.) Well! That was a long authors note! I should let you guys get to reading.

As soon as breakfast was over, many of the Gryffindors returned to the common room. A few went to gossip with their friends in other houses. When Hermione, Harry, and Ron had finished their breakfast, they went to visit Hagrid. On their way out of the Great Hall, Hermione caught Blaise's eye. He winked at her to say that everything was under control then turned back to talking with his friends.

Nobody mentioned fan fiction at Hagrid's, and he didn't suspect a thing. They stayed for lunch, then had to leave because Snape had assigned a very lengthy assignment for Monday on the use of potions for theatrical purposes. "What's he on to now?" Ron had said about it.

The library was strangely empty as they worked on the essay, but that was to be expected. The few slytherins who did use the library were there, the hard core perfectionists were there, and people like Nevil, who needed every study minute left before finals, were there. That may sound like a lot, but Hogwart's library is pretty big. There was plenty of space.

"I still feel like Snape is up to something," Ron said as he looked up stage make-up potions.

"Well, even if he is, it dose no good for us to fret over it, that's probably exactly what he wants us to do," Hermione replied smoothly as she scratched out a mistake on her parchment.

"No doubt it's something that will make us all miserable," Harry said with out looking up.

"No doubt," Hermione sighed and went back to her essay.

The Gryffindors remembered dinner, even the Creevys and Seamus came down. When Hermione said something about it to Dean, he said that they had come down for lunch, and that the Creevy brothers were very excited about something. Dean didn't sound very excited himself over that last bit. Hermione looked over at the trio. Seamus was talking animatedly to second year who looked like he was trying to escape. Denis was hurriedly scribbling on a piece of parchment while Colin dictated.

Hermione excused herself and went over to check it out. "Harry flew in with his wand out. The girl looked up from her captor's arms and said, "Oh look! Harry's come to save me!" Colin looked up when he noticed Hermione, "Oh, Hi Hermione! We're writing a fan fiction! You wanna see?" He sounded so excited that Hermione knew she couldn't refuse.

"Sure, why not?" she told him.

Dennis finished the last thing that Colin had said and handed the parchment over. Hermione scanned the document and found that it portrayed Harry as a hero of almost legendary proportions. The basic story line was damsel in distress. She fought to keep down a giggle before she handed to story back to Dennis.

"So, what do you think?" Colin asked her.

Hermione was suddenly struck with an idea. "That's really good, but do you know what it needs?" They shook their heads. "It needs work on the villain. Villains need depth, they can't just kidnap someone without a reason!" she was making this up as she went, but as long as it was believable, that was okay. "You know what I think would help? Make the villain someone that you already know. That way you already know their motives." She smiled and went back to her seat just in time for the meal to arrive.

The talk of the meal for all the tables but slytherin was fan fiction. To Harry's relief, the focus had turned off him and on to all the other students who had been mentioned in the books. To Hermione's relief, the teachers didn't seem to notice the new topic of conversation. Ron and Harry chatted about normal stuff, while Hermione pondered her next task. From the looks of the Slytherin table Malfoy hadn't cracked yet. What was she going to do to get him on it?

Ron and Harry didn't worry about Hermione's silence; it was close to final time anyway.

Hermione finished her dinner early and went up to the owlery to send a letter, she had a hunch that it might be useful.

Later that night Hermione met with the others involved in Project Wired. Everyone was excited about the day's progress. Terry and Angelica both reported situations that reminded Hermione eerily of the Gryffindor common room. Blaise said that the computer hadn't been touched all day.

"But I wouldn't put it past him to get on it in the middle of the night, when no one's looking," he said.

"I'm not sure that we can do anything with that, other than know that we've gotten him on it. In the mean time, I have an idea."

She proceeded to tell them about her new plan. It involved bringing the fan fiction to Draco. Hermione knew that the plan had dangers. They were going to break a rule. Filch would skin them alive if he found out who the perpetrator was. But it would be worth it, if only to see Malfoy's face.

They were each to find one fan fiction and make lots and lots of copies. Blaise was to find one where Draco was the Villian. Angelica was to find one where he reformed and became a nice guy. Terry was to find one where he just plain got humiliated. Hermione saved the best job for herself. She would find a romance. If for some reason someone couldn't find a story of the type they were assigned, they were supposed to find something that achieved the basic goal. Once they found a suitable story they would get the good parts all on one sheet and print it out. To conserve ink they would magically copy them. The theory was that one of these would either embarrass or intrigue him enough to get on the computer.

This was where the rule breaking part came in. They would get up early and magically distribute the stories throughout the school. People were bound to pick them up and read them. Hermione knew some that would read them aloud.

"I'm not sure if this will work," Blaise admitted uncertainly.

"But you have to admit, it _will _be funny," Angelica said.

"Are you positive that we have to get Malfoy to get the rest of Slytherin House?" Terry asked Blaise.

"Maybe not, but this plan is as good as any to catch everyone else. If they were willing to do something with out his approval it would be to get something on him if for any reason," Blaise said.

"So everyone knows their assignment? Well, we've got a lot of work to do tonight, see you in the morning," Hermione ended and they went their separate ways.

In Gryffindor tower Colin Creevey was still typing up his story on the computer, but the common room was otherwise deserted. "Hey Colin, how's the story goin?" Hermione asked him.

"I'm just about done typing it, we used your idea," he said and then resumed typing.

"Really? Who'd you use?" she asked.

"Draco Malfoy," he replied.

"Good choice. I have to get on the computer to do something for the Project. Do you know when you'll be off?"

"I can finish in the morning, just let me save."

"Thanks Colin," she said and got on the computer. Before clicking on the Romance category she looked at the total number of stories. It had grown by hundreds since she was on last. She let out a low whistle. "I wonder if it always grows so much," she whispered.

She clicked on Draco Malfoy in the character selecter. She swallowed when she saw that almost ALL of them were with her. And most of the ones that weren't were Harry or Ginny. She switched the rating to mature and the ratios didn't change much. She swallowed and closed her eyes as she clicked on a one-shot with her in it. "Open your eyes Hermione," she whispered to herself.

After a minute her body obeyed. What met her eyes sent her into a coughing fit. Maybe this wasn't going to be so easy. She knew that she should use a story like this, but it was hard. It would make Malfoy SO angry if the story put him with a muggle born and Hermione was the worst of them all. An explicit one would be the best. And it would clear Hermione's name from Filch's list of suspects. Why would she do that to herself?

"I can do this. I can do this," she said to herself as she forced herself to look again. "Ew!" she whispered. _This one will have to work,_ she thought and copied the whole thing. Once she had pasted it in the word processer she noticed that it was two pages: one page too long. She groaned aloud. Now she had to actually _read_ the thing and take out anything unnecessary.

"Okay, I'll just take out anything that I can bear reading. That's simple enough," she said to herself. It was difficult. After awhile she was able to block out the names, and that helped a little. Until she actually began to get turned on. "Oooooh no," she said. _At least I can read it,_ she thought and kept going.

When she had finished, the story fit neatly inside one page. She clicked print, no don't save, and sat back in her chair. _Just one more thing then I can go to bed,_ she thought. Once the page had printed she mentally sorted through all the spells that she knew to copy something. She settled on a mass copy, low quality version for organic and inorganic materials.

Once she had finished the spell, she levitated the papers behind a couch in a corner, where she put Harry's cloak, which she had nicked earlier, on top of them. It just barely fit. Once she was satisfied, she went to bed and set her alarm clock for an hour and half early. That would be plenty of time to get up, do what she needed to do, then get back in bed before anyone got up.

As she got into her bed, she had to admit that even if it didn't work in the way she hoped it would, it would be worth it to see the look on Malfoy's face. _He deserves it,_ she thought as she drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 24: The Great Depression

A/N HEY LISTEN UP! Even if you never read Author's Notes, you may want to read the first paragraph of this one. I made a mistake, but I thought of the perfect way to fix that mistake! So the question is… "What _is_ Snape onto now?" See, I created a perfect little side plot to build on, only trouble is that I was too busy thinking about the matter at hand that I didn't figure out what the result would be, and now I can't think of one. I'm positive that that was a run on. So my challenge to you is this: Why is Snape assigning essays about the uses of potions in theatre? Remember that this dosen't have to be Snape's idea, but he could have certainly turned it into something evil from someone else's good idea. The only requirement in this contest is that it has to make sense. Snape didn't assign that essay so that he could accuse all his students of lying about their identity. It just dosen't fit. Just include your ideas in your review, anonymous ideas welcome. If I get more than one idea I promise to use one of them. Don't worry if the next chapter is already out, the idea will be used in Ch. 6. There's no prize, I'm sorry, I'm broke.

I know that this is an insanely long author's note, so I'm try and keep this part short. There will be NO spoilers from HBP in this fic. There might be a few inside jokes for the careful reader (check the first paragraph), but I read the book, and as of now Project Wired exists in a Harry Potter alternate reality. That's what I get for not finishing in time. I love you all, and I love making you laugh. Sorry it's been so long, I've been kinda busy. Enjoy the story. P.S. I have to explain this chapter's title sometime, but my author's note is too long as it is, so I'll try next time.

Chapter 24: The Great Depression

Hermione woke up even earlier than the day before. She figured that 4 am was a good time. No one in their right mind would be up at that time, and Filch would most likely be asleep. Hopefully Mrs. Noris sleept with her master. Getting up was not difficult, Hermione had learned to live with little sleep during her third year. As Hermione was tip-toeing out of the girls dormitory, she slipped on a large chained necklace and fell. She managed to suppress a scream, but the necklace made a racket. Lavender turned over in the bed beside Hermione. Hermione was suddenly VERY thankful that her roommates were heavy sleepers.

The common room was deserted when she arrived. Hermione went to the spot where she knew the papers were hidden. However, when she got there, there was nothing there. She panicked on the spot, _Someone found them!_ Just as she was about to really freak out, though, she noticed a spot of color behind the couch next to her. Rushing to the spot, she realized that she was either really tired now, or had been last night.

Letting out a sigh of relief, she took Harry's cape off the papers and measured them with her eye. _It looks like they're all there,_ but she had been sure that she had completely covered them. _I was sure they were behind that couch too._ She knew that it did her no good to fret, so she got to work. The spell she had picked out to distribute them had some serious flaws, but it was the most effective. The worst part was that it would put these stories into the bedrooms of teachers and staff. But it would make sure that they were distributed evenly. Which was the point of the spell in itself. The spell would distribute the stories at regular intervals throughout EVERY floor of the building she was in. That also meant that some would be put through walls. But they would be everywhere and it was better than levitating each individual paper to it's individual place in the school.

She wanted to go back to bed before she was too awake to get back to sleep, so she said the spell quickly and every paper disappeared but one. On her way back to the dormitory, she encountered three more papers. One in the common room, one on the stairs, and one her dormitory. The latest was actually pinned underneath Parvati's bedfoot.

Seeing the paper so obviously placed, she realized that she had one step left to cover her tracks. She quickly muttered lumos and nox in quick succession. A small beam of light stretched across her bed for a second before disappearing. Once in bed she snuggled up and fell asleep very quickly. Her last thought was, _Hope Filch doesn't get too mad._

Hermione woke up to fervent whispers. However, as soon as she sat up, they stopped. When Hermione looked over towards her roommates' beds, she saw Parvati and Lavender. Parvati was holding something behind her back and looking slightly guilty. Hermione knew what it was and decided that the matter wasn't worth her time. She got out of bed and went to take a shower.

When Hermione returned, Lavender and Parvati were gone. Hermione lingered in her dormitory a little longer than usual. Part of her couldn't wait to see what was going on downstairs, the other part was dreading it. After taking a few deep breaths, she plucked up her courage and went downstairs, the sight that met her was a suprising one.

The common room was deserted. The almost always loud Gryffindor common room was silent but for a fire crackling in the fireplace. As she walked through the deserted common room, she noticed a lone piece of paper, discarded by the masses, and slightly crumpled. She picked it up and noticed that it wasn't the Romance fic that she had selected.

What followed was a story about the son of Draco and Pansy Malfoy. Severus Malfoy was a sensitive boy who didn't understand his parents' violent ways. He loved everyone that he met and forgave easily. He never understood why his parents wouldn't look at him, after he had been placed in Hufflepuff. He didn't understand why they thought that he was a failure, did he not have the best marks in his year? Nonetheless, he loved them as if they loved him back. When his parents were mysteriously killed during his 3rd year, he carried on not their legacy, but his own message of understanding and peace.

When Hermione finished the story, she snorted. Whoever had picked this one out was a genius. She was only sorry that she hadn't been there to see Malfoy's face. If that didn't get him to at least _destroy_ the computer, she didn't know what would. With a smile on her face, Hermione Granger went down to a memorable breakfast.

Hermione was thankful that she entered the Great Hall unnoticed. She sat down in-between Ron and Harry and immediately felt guilty. She had forgotten what kind of effect this would have on Harry. _Oh well, _she thought,_ what's done is done._ "So what's up with them?" she asked Ron, referring to the increased activity in the Great Hall. Harry didn't look very sociable this morning. Now that she saw Ron's face, he looked pretty angry himself.

"Some git published a couple of those fanfics," he forced out.

She still didn't understand his anger. "Ok, so what's wrong with you?" she asked, bewildered.

He shoved a piece of paper into her hand. When she looked down she knew what it was, and was still a little surprised that Ron was angry. She read a little for authenticity, and shot her pumpkin juice across the table at the right spot. Ron grabbed the sheaf out of her hand and smashed it into a ball.

"Who would do that? Who would _write_ that?" Hermione wasn't acting anymore, she had wondered about the second question a while ago.

"Dunno," Ron took a swig of his pumpkin juice. "I almost thought that it wasn't too bad, they're all about Malfoy, you know. But then I saw _that_," he gestured toward the ball of paper. "Whoever's got the grudge against Malfoy sure didn't think 'bout the rest of us,"

Hermione was floored. Literally. Neville slipped on the ball of paper. He grabbed the only thing he could on his way down, the back of Hermione's robes. With a short scream Hermione went down, right on top of Neville.

"Sorry Hermione, slipped… on something…"Neville stammered out.

"It's fine Neville," she said brushing herself off. Neville left, stammering apologies. Hermione's fall seemed to go unnoticed among the hustle and bustle that, ironically, she had created. When she got up, she scanned the Great Hall.

The scene was strange. Instead of bits of parchment, Hogwarts students were shouting about pieces of computer paper that they were waving around. Even the Slytherins were getting into the act, in their own special way of course.

One large seventh year plucked a sheaf from a first year Hufflepuff's hands. Another Slytherin made a paper airplane that landed in the Gryfindor's pile of toast. Draco Malfoy was eating sulkily. Crabbe and Goyle ate beside him and looked like they wanted to join the fun. The withering looks that Draco aimed at the other Slytherins were enough to stop them.

Hermione observed this with amusement. It seemed that at the moment Malfoy didn't have a witty comeback. For now.

When the morning post there was a pleasant surprise for all. Well, It was pleasant for most, terrible for a few. An odd silence passed over the Great Hall as everyone opened the odd, brightly colored envelope first. The letter they received went as follows:

_Dear Hogwarts Student,_

_Yesterday, we received an anonymous tip concerning a muggle past time called "Fan Fiction." Further investigation revealed that while "Fan Fiction" is written about many books and series, is seems that the "Harry Potter" series is by far the most popular. While reading these "Fanfics" it also came to our attention that many Hogwarts students are inaccurately portrayed. Whether you were only mentioned by name in the books, or not at all, or maybe you were portrayed inaccurately in the actual books, this can be a serious problem. So whatever your problem may be, we have the answer! Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is offering a new service. In just two short weeks __www.therealhogwarts.wiz__ will be open for all to see! The Real Hogwart's goal is to educate muggles, as well as they can be educated, about what Hogwarts is really like. For only a small price your story can be included in this revolutionary website. Contact us today to reserve your spot in history! _

_Yours Truly,_

_Fred and George Weasley_

_Weasley's Wizard Wheezes_

Reactions were mixed, to say the least. Many, including Ron and Harry, laughed. Others seemed to actually be considering it. A few wadded the paper up in much the same fashion Ron had disposed of the fan fiction. Malfoy was in the last group. In a few seconds everyone had recovered enough to discuss the letter.

"I think your brothers just introduced the wizarding world to junk mail," Hermione said.

"They would," was Harry's response. The letter seemed to have cheered him up quite a bit.

"So I think we should really review Chapter 24 of History of Magic today," Hermione said matter of factly.

"What's Chapter 24?" Ron asked.

"The Great Depression."

"Right," Ron said through his scrambled eggs.

After they finished, they went back up to the common room to study, giving Slytherin table a wide berth.


	6. Confrontation

A/N Just so that you all know, I hate this chapter with a passion. I had to do it, but I didn't like it. It's sad and not funny and the only consolation that I have so that I would actually write it and not put it off indefinitely is that the next chapter will be funny. Oh yes, I have something planned for all of you that will be very funny. (I hope.)

Oh yeah, I have to explain why I made the last chapter title. It's personal vengeance of mine. Somehow in English class it came up that a chapter of a book could not be called "Chapter 24: The Great Depression." My teacher said that 24 was the chapter # and "The Great Depression" is the title. So I vowed that someday I would name a chapter that is not chapter 24 "Chapter 24: The Great Depression." You can laugh at me for being the dork that I am now.

Enjoy (or not) the story.

After about 15 minutes of attempted study time, it became apparent that the common room was not a quiet place at the moment. So the trio retired to the Library, in hopes of some quiet. The Library was almost deserted when they got there. They sat down and began to work.

After a few minutes they had begun to relax and get down to work. They thought that they were home free when someone came into the library that they weren't expecting. And for once he was unaccompanied as well. He looked quite livid and strode right up to their table.

"Can I help you Malfoy?" Hermione asked in a very McGonagallish way.

"Not you, mudblood," Draco said snobbishly.

Ron stood up, his chair screeching threateningly. "Ron!" Hermione said and pulled him back down.

"You," Draco pointed at Harry. "I suppose you're enjoying all this aren't you? Probably put the whole thing together yourself." He paused for dramatic effect, "You might have humiliated me today, but I can tell you something. I've got you figured out. Your little plan didn't work. I'm getting on that computer, and I'm going to find whatever it is that you don't want me to see." He straightened, "Just wanted to tell you personally that your little plan failed." It was then that he finally turned and left, leaving three speechless Gryffindors in his wake.

Hermione could barely hold it in. Draco had barely left the room when she jumped to her feet and squealed. Her display of her extreme pleasure attracted more than Harry and Ron's stares. When Madame Pince shot her a glare Hermione sat down promptly but continued to giggle a bit.

Harry was the first to overcome the shock of Hermione giggling, let alone at what Malfoy had just said. "Hermione?" was all he could manage, which is really understandable.

"Yes?" she asked gaily.

"Why are you so… happy?" he finally asked.

"Because something good happened," she said unfazed.

"Do you mean about what Malfoy said?" he asked her as if she were a bit slow.

"Yes," she said matter-of-factly.

"How was any of what Malfoy said good?" Ron had finally come out of his stupor. "He called you a mudblood and accused Harry of putting out those stories. Harry wouldn't print that stuff out."

Hermione's face fell, in fact, it looked like she was on the verge of tears. She suddenly stood up and grabbed her books. "I'm sorry," she whispered and left the library.

Her reaction was so unexpected that Ron and Harry just sat there instead of going after her like they normally would have. "What's with her?" Ron asked, but Harry didn't hear. Something impossible was going through his mind.

Hermione went straight for the Room of Requirement. She needed to be alone. She needed quiet. And she needed time. A small room with a small crackling fire place and a couple of squishy chairs greeted her. The walls were covered with bookshelves. She hadn't asked for those but the sight was comforting at least.

She deposited her books on the floor and plopped in a chair. Hermione couldn't keep the smile off her face for long. Soon she was laughing and jumping up and down again. _It worked!_ She couldn't wait to talk to Blaise and make sure that Malfoy wasn't just bluffing.

Then she remembered Harry and Ron. _Idiot, _she reprimanded herself. Did she have no self-control? How could she have been so careless? Now she would either have to explain herself or avoid them indefinitely. Neither option looked appealing.

After some thinking, and a bit of research, (It seemed that the Room of Requirement had provided her with some very good reading on her situation.) She decided to avoid them until she was sure that Malfoy was actually going to go through with his threat. Then she would explain everything that had been going on. Then she would apologize. And maybe throw in some groveling.

When she emerged from the Room of Requirement, she looked at her watch. Then she did a double take. Her watch read 10:54. But they had decided to got to the library around 10:30. And she had spent at least an hour in the Room of Requirement. She smiled to herself as she made her way to the common room, apparently the Room of Requirement had some tricks of its own.

Hermione carefully entered the common room and looked around. Neither Ron nor Harry were present. She breathed a sigh of relief and continued with more confidence.

"Where did you go?" the voice came from no where. "We beat you here AND had time to grab the invisibility cloak from the dormitory." Ron and Harry appeared from nowhere. Ron continued, "We want to know what's going on. Because we have only come up with one situation that would work, and we really don't want it to be true."

Ron was standing with his arms folded across his chest. Harry was merely looking at Hermione as if he had never seen her before. Hermione's blood went cold. "I- I- erm…" she looked down. "I don't know what to say," she admitted.

"Try the truth?" Harry said.

"Well, if you insist," she conceded, then looked around the room. "But not here, and no one else can know."

Ron looked like he might protest, but Harry cut him off. "Fine," he said evenly, "name the place."

Hermione considered it, the Room of Requirement had certainly provided her with time and quiet, but for some reason she didn't want them to know where she'd been. Then suddenly the perfect location presented itself to her. "Myrtle's bathroom," she said finally.

Ron groaned and Harry rolled his eyes but they both eventually conceded. Myrtle's bathroom was empty, as always, when they arrived. Hermione considered what she should actually tell them, but Harry must have guessed her intentions, as he shot her a glance. So Hermione told them the truth.

Ron stood slack jawed for pretty much the whole thing. That Hermione could deal with. But Harry just listened calmly, and that was dangerous. Hermione would have expected him to get at least a little angry by now. And if he wasn't getting angry at all right now, well, she hated to think about later. As she wrapped it up, she braced herself for the explosion. When nothing happened she looked at her friends.

Ron was the first to speak, "I don't understand… you printed that thing about yourself on _purpose?_"

"Yes," she explained, "it was a kind of insurance; there was no way Filch would suspect me that way."

"But why he would suspect you in any case? You never break the rules. Well, not unless it's a case of life and death. Until now I guess…" he trailed off.

At that very moment, Peeves decided that it was time to make his entrance. Actually, it was the most un-peeves-like entrance that had ever been seen. He had expected the bathroom to be empty as he crept in to sneak up on Myrtle. When instead he came face to face with the trio, all in various states of distress, he did the only thing he could do, scream.

Peeves was lucky that day that the trio was not in a laughing mood, or he might have been laughed at. And Peeves does not like to be laughed at, he generally prefers the laughing. As it was though, he was able to pretend like he was intending to sneak up on the trio and not Myrtle. Ron, Harry, and Hermione just stared as he made his cackling exit.

"So I told you what I did and why and I apologized. Am I free to go now?" Hermione said once he was gone.

"Yeah," Harry said evenly. Hermione turned to go and they didn't follow her. As she was climbing the stairs she heard a familiar voice singing about some very bad boys who liked to sneak into the girls bathroom. She felt a stab of guilt for the millionth time that weekend and kept going. _Maybe tomorrow will be better,_ she thought. She heard the last echoes of Peeves cackle as she ascended the stairs.


	7. The Happy Ending With Teaser

Sorry for the wait, the chapter, and everything else that makes me a terrible writer. Enjoy, or not.

Hermione woke up the next morning feeling refreshed, until she remembered the previous day. So she descended into the common room in a melancholy mood. Seamus was at the computer, as usual. "What are you doing?" Hermione asked friendlily.

"I'm submitting my story to Fred and George's site. Because of gay issues in the muggle world, or some other strange reason, my homosexuality was totally left out of the books. However, it seems that muggles aren't as dense as one might have thought, many have picked up on it and included it in their fan fictions," he said.

"If they already know then why are you wasting your money on Fred and George's site?" Hermione asked, curious.

"Because some muggles ARE dense," he said and turned back to the computer.

Hermione proceeded down to the Great Hall for some breakfast. She was relieved to see that the Great Hall was back to its normal state, perhaps because it was a Monday. She noticed that Malfoy was looking a bit preoccupied, in contrast to the other Slytherins, who if anything looked happy. Hermione decided she was imagining things, because the closest she had ever seen the Slytherins come to happy, was smug.

When she got to the Gryffindor table, she noticed that Ron and Harry weren't present, so she sat down alone. They eventually arrived, but sat down at the other end of the table. She was just feeling guilty again when her thoughts were interrupted by Professor Dumbledore.

"I would like to make an announcement," called from the teachers table. The students looked at him, confused because announcements were normally made at dinner. "We have a little treat for you," he said a little deviously, "the faculty has decided that it is time the Hogwarts has a little bit of creativity included in the curriculum. So it has been decided that Hogwarts will be putting on a play this term. All of your classes will be involved in the project, and you will al contribute. Every aspect of this play will be covered during your normal classes. The two weeks preceding the production will be class-free so that you will be able to concentrate more on whatever aspect of theatre you decided to specialize in for the time being. You may submit ideas for the play we will be performing to your heads of houses. If you think it should be an original play and would like to write it yourself or collaborate with another student feel free to talk to your head of house about it. That is all I have to say at the moment, I will now allow you to get back to your eating," he finished.

The great hall was dead silent. Eventually people began to look away from Dumbledore and exchange confused glances. Since when did Hogwarts do plays? It had never had a theatre department before, and now the whole school was involved! Before long people began to either get excited or annoyed. All of their classes were going to be involved. Maybe they would be interesting, maybe they would be boring. No one knew. In the confusion everyone forgot about fan fiction. Well they didn't forget, they just weren't as concerned about it anymore. As the following weeks went by, their lives became more and more intertwined with that of the characters they played and the fate of the sets they made. Most importantly, the thought of the play brought Hermione back to her normal self, she immediately began preparing for auditions, she was looking toward the lead, like everyone knew she would. Harry and Ron forgave her, and chalked it all up to stress, something they knew even Hermione couldn't avoid. Draco forgot his confusion over what Potter had really been doing, and the Slytherins lost their smiles to contempt over the inferiority of Drama. Least surprisingly of all, the Hufflepuffs were the ones to get the most excited over the play, after all, it's the shy one that shines on stage.

Look for the sequel to this story, coming to a fanfiction site near you!


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